Frequently Asked Questions

The answers to this listing of the most commonly asked questions about memorial services will provide illumination on the subject. If it happens that your particular question remains unanswered, please call us at 708-532-5400 to gain insight. Perhaps your question will be included on this list, helping others who are in the process of making important decisions concerning the commemoration of a loved one.

1. What is a memorial service?
 
2. How is a memorial service different from a funeral or a celebration-of-life?
 
3. Which service format is right for me and my family?
 
4. How much will a memorial service cost?
 
5. What "extra" fees or charges will I need to pay?
 
6. Do I have to pay for cash advance items ahead of time?
 
7. How and when should I pay?
 
8. What does planning a memorial service involve?
 
9. How much will I have to be involved?
 
10. What should I bring to the funeral home?
 
11. What is a civil celebrant? How can he or she assist me?
 
12. Who will write the obituary?
 
13. What is meant by “in lieu of flowers”?
 
14. Must I ask for memorial donations in my loved one’s obituary?
 

Question #1What is a memorial service?
Answer:A memorial service performs many of the same functions of a funeral. Both are structured and both gather the community together in remembrance and mutual support. However, a funeral is much more formal. A memorial service allows all attendees the chance to participate to some degree instead of simply observing and reflecting. It is not officiated by a clergy member, but rather is guided by a celebrant or master-of-ceremonies. .

Question #2How is a memorial service different from a funeral or a celebration-of-life?
Answer:Although each memorial service is different, in general it can be seen as the midway point between a funeral and a celebration-of-life. A funeral is formal, clergy-led and structurally comprised of the visitation, the funeral and the committal service. It is not intrinsically celebratory in nature. A celebration-of-life focuses on the loved one more intimately, showcasing their passions, intellectual endeavors and personal achievements.

Question #3Which service format is right for me and my family?
Answer:We cannot tell you the best way to commemorate your loved one. We are here to present you with the possibilities and options and to offer suggestions. Our goal is to educate you so that you are empowered to make the best choices for your circumstances.

Question #4How much will a memorial service cost?
Answer:The price of the memorial service depends on the options that you select at the arrangement conference with your funeral director. When you meet with him or her, you will be given a copy of the company’s General Price List detailing all the basic professional services included in the price of your loved one’s memorial service. Also listed are the charges for any additional merchandise or services that you have paid for.  

Question #5What "extra" fees or charges will I need to pay?
Answer:At the arrangement conference with your funeral director you will be asked to pay for purchases made from outside vendors, which are referred to as cash advance items. A common one is the charge by a newspaper to print your loved one’s obituary. Other cash advance items include the honorarium for the clergy, musician’s fees, the cost of funeral flowers and repast necessities such as food, drink and the rental of a facility. Your funeral director will give you a detailed bill for all cash advance items.

Question #6Do I have to pay for cash advance items ahead of time?
Answer:Your funeral director will explain to you any and all needed cash advance expenses incurred in the planning of the service.

Question #7How and when should I pay?
Answer:Your funeral director will explain to you your payment options.

Question #8What does planning a memorial service involve?
Answer:An outline of tasks would be choosing the setting, date and time of the service. You will also have to make decisions about the reading passages, musical selections, food and drink, activities the group will participate in and the people you would like to take part in the service itself. Creating this outward display of your love for your departed is an empowering process.

Question #9How much will I have to be involved?
Answer:You will be required to determine details such as where the memorial service will take place and when. Working with your funeral director, you will decide other vital matters. After these decisions have been made, you may play a more passive role and allow us to tend to everything or provide as much input as you feel comfortable with.

Question #10What should I bring to the funeral home?
Answer:You will need to bring with you the papers and information needed to complete your loved one’s death certificate and to compose his or her obituary. You may also want to bring family photographs for use in making a tribute video or for decorating the location the service is held at. Depending on the arrangements you have made, you may want to bring other items. Your funeral director will give you a list specifying the things he or she would like you to bring to the arrangement conference.

Question #11What is a civil celebrant? How can he or she assist me?
Answer:A celebrant is someone who has been trained to conduct formal ceremonies such as funerals, weddings and baptisms. They are not members of the clergy, but are experienced masters-of-ceremony and story-tellers. A celebrant works with the family to design a ceremony that shows the values, dreams, beliefs and cultural background of your loved one. Please speak to your funeral director if you feel you would be best served by a celebrant.

Question #12Who will write the obituary?
Answer:Usually the funeral director you meet at the arrangement conference will be tasked with writing the obituary for your loved one. You will assist them in this endeavor by providing them with the needed legal documents such as the birth certificate, military records and marriage or divorce decrees. You can also give them significant details about the life of your loved one. We can help if you would like to write the obituary yourself, or if you would like a family member or friend to do so.

Question #13What is meant by “in lieu of flowers”?
Answer:Many of today’s obituaries include the phrase “in lieu of flowers.” This does not mean that the sending of flowers is prohibited, as would be the case with writing “no flowers please.” Rather, it means that the family has given you the option of sending a memorial donation instead of flowers.

Question #14Must I ask for memorial donations in my loved one’s obituary?
Answer:You need not ask for anything in your loved one’s obituary. If you feel uncomfortable making such a request, then you should not do it. Please take into consideration that most people want the chance to do a good deed as a method of paying tribute to a relative or close friend. Please call us if you have any questions or concerns about the issue of charitable contributions. We can help you to pick the most appropriate charity for your circumstances.